The Truth About Ducks

2011-07-22T08:44:00.000-07:00

I have this problem. Well, I don't think I'll call it a real problem, just an issue, really. I like crafts. I really, really do. I love looking at them. I like looking at books about them. I like watching people do them. I like dreaming and creating an idea about them. I love the challenge of figuring something out, a new way to do something, a new use for something old, and I'm pretty good at it. But when it comes down to it, I don't think I love doing it for any great period of time. Well the same one anyway.

I have a room that is filled to the gills (well, the edges of the room anyway) with a certain craft project that after doing it for several years, I'm kinda over it. I'm over the room that it takes up in my house for storage and to actually do the project. I'm over the huge amount of time I invest in planning and preparing and actually doing the thing. I'm over wondering what I'm going to do with the end result. This last one is so stressful for some reason: I always factor whether or not someone else would want what I'm making, either to receive as a gift or to buy, and so far only a few have been given away and none sold because I am paralized as how to do this.

The real problem is this: once I find a great idea I can't just get stuff for one or two of them. Noooo. I have to get supplies for 10 or 15 or 20. Everywhere I go I look for great deals on supplies and find them and buy them! Now I have a closet and 4 huge boxes filled with parts. I'll make 5 or 6 items, then the parts and supplies become an overwhelming burden that my brain seizes up and I can't go forward with any sense of fun or joy that the original creation provided. All of the sudden I have a job. A non-paying job so not only am I invested financially, I feel the burden to make up some of the money in sales. But again, the stress of selling.....

So now what? Do I force myself to do something that I am now hating for all the reasons stated above? Do I get rid of the supplies (I haven't invested a great amount of money so this option would not be awful, it just seems such a waste)? Do I hang on to the stuff in case I recover my desire to start up again, maybe, someday? Or would that be like all those hoarders I watch who can't let go of anything because a some point they might need it? We call my craft room the hoarding room because it frequently looks like something from that show. Can you be a hoarding when it's only one room? And a closet or two? After spending two hours yesterday cleaning it, I almost couldn't stop myself from continuing on and getting rid of everything in there. Sweet freedom from stuff! But here's the other question: Would that open the door on other craft projects? Right now I don't shop for any new ones because of what I have here, but if everything was gone, would I want to rush out and fill the void?

So many questions. So few answers.

The REAL reason for the tears

2011-06-09T22:06:00.000-07:00

So if I said I knew it would you believe me? I know many people "know" things after the fact but this time it's true. Here's the story:

When I first saw the lump on Sarah's neck when I visited after Derek was born I was in total agreement with her mom: get that checked.

After after all the testing and the biopsy that revealed the suspicious nature of her thyroid and the possible outcomes I decided to do my own online research. I read through as much literature as I could and was cheered by the positive outcomes for so many people but as soon as I read the part about it spreading to the lymph nodes I felt that this was the path we (is it presumptuous to say we when I'm 1500 miles away? I hope not) were going to be on. It's not something I could say out loud because everyone, and I mean literally everyone from the people at the wedding reception to the nurse/practitioner at my annual gyn appointment said the same thing: It's the best cancer and the easiest to cure. Just take it out and maybe one treatment of radiation. So who wants to be downer-debbie and say, I think it might not be that easy.

But the surgery seemed to prove me wrong and really maybe my pessimistic nature was just taking over, I needed to chill. So when Sarah called today and said it was in the lymph nodes I just cried (I'm very sorry Sarah to not always be so tough). I cried because I realized those feelings were promptings or maybe warnings,and although it would have done no good sharing them before, I was sad. And also humbled to again recognize our Heavenly Father's hand in our lives. He knows us, and loves us, and it is His hand guiding our lives. And for that I have no end of gratitude.

Is there anyone out there?

2011-06-02T09:08:00.000-07:00

So, I tell myself that I blog to keep a record of my life--sorta. A small and very incomplete record, but a record nonetheless. But I've found that I miss the comments that used to come my way. I guess I have more social needs than I thought. Maybe it's the lack of pictures or music or the soporific effect of my posts that keep people away. You all don't have smell-o-vision do you? Well, whatever it is I hope it passes and life as I knew it returns to normal.

And for those of you who need pictures this is for you:

(Who's needy now?) Sorry it won't let me upload any pictures today. I've been trying for 20 minutes and it's time to get on with the rest of my life.

Next time?

Jesus Took the Wheel

2011-05-24T00:24:00.000-07:00

Here's something I don't like but have gone through six times now: Teaching a child to drive. The law says they have to have a gazillion hours of experience before they get their licence and are deemed ready and competent to be foisted upon the driving public at large. Does anyone think about the poor soul who has to sit in the seat next to them as they as learning and practicing? What of their fate? Today I had a small taste of what that fate could have been.

As Kit was driving home from Fresno today along Ave. 9 (I was the poor soul in the seat next to her) we were having a lovely time chatting and listening to the radio. I was relaxed because she was doing a great job driving, for once not cringing and slowing to incredible speeds as cars approached her or as we came to a curve in the road. But as everyone knows who has driven that road, it narrows cruelly and the edges are rough and frequently torn up with small drop offs. We were almost to the freeway when Kit went off the shoulder of the road into the dirt. It was a pretty good drop-off and nearly at the same time (although she has no recollection of this) I yelled that she was off the road and she overcorrected back on. We were thrown into the oncoming lane fishtailing like crazy, but she overcorrected again and we headed to the right side of the road again straight towards a telephone pole. We were literally seconds from hitting it head on, but mostly on my side of the car and all I could think was, "Wow, I always wondered about those people who die hitting a telephone pole and now I'm going to be one of them. Ironic." But here's the part I can't explain. The front of the car was suddenly beyond the pole but the back tire hit it and we were off in the other direction again. She finally pulled off the road and slowed to a stop. The whole time this was happening, Kit was yelling, "What do I do? I don't know what to do!" Even when we were stopped, she said it over and over and then busted up crying. I kept saying, "You're okay. You did just fine. We are fine." Then I got out and on shaking legs looked to see how bad the back of the car was damaged. Nothing. Really, the back hubcap was off, the tire rim was full of weeds but not a bump or scratch. (I think because it was the camry and it has taken 15 years of abuse from many a kid and accident and it's kinda hard to see what injuries are new, but I pretty sure).

As we drove on home, I laughed a little shakily about Kit yelling what to do over and over. She laughed too because she thought that she was only thinking that, not saying it out loud. She said, "I couldn't think what to do so I just let you do it," but I didn't touch the steering wheel. I have to say one of my all time favorite songs to mock is Jesus take the wheel. Really the dumbest song ever. But I have now experienced something like the sentiment of that song. We were not in control of the car, but I am sure someone else was. I am sure it was He is who has held me together for the rest of the day and only now, at midnight, do all the what-ifs come pouring in and I can't sleep.

Here's what I am grateful for tonight:

I am home, safe and sound only worrying about what could of happened and not what did.

I have a 16-year-old daughter who doesn't have to bear the scars of causing a serious, if not fatal accident. Although several times today I have told her I'm not going to forget that she almost killed me today.

The car that had been sitting on our rear bumper for 8 miles previously had for some reason fallen way back only minutes before so that when he passed us, we were safely on the side of the road.

There was no oncoming traffic.

I don't have to deal with expensive car repairs (insignificant in the scheme of things but a burden nontheless).

A loving Heavenly Father who watches over us, even when we don't feel worthy or are even aware that we need watching over.

There is only one more child to teach to drive. Maybe by the time he's old enough, I'll send him to one of his siblings for lessons. Not sure I can do it again. At least not today.

Spring Spring Spring

2011-05-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

So. Time has flown and dragged significantly since the last time I posted. The more time had passed the less I was inclined to write anything or post any pictures. It's not for a lack of subject matter by any means because there have been a million things happen this year. Not sure why I put off writing but it finally got to a point where I decided I'll see if I can go a year between postings but I can't. See how bad I am at reaching goals? I can't even stick to a year long procrastination but quit a month early. I am pitiful.

Anyway. I woke up this morning to another beautiful (I know my Barros relatives are so not agreeing with me right now) day in the neighborhood. Cool weather, 52 degrees, cloudy/sunny skies, clear air. Spring is usually my very least favorite season due to its shortness (sometimes a week or two at the most) and its heralding of summer that is always too hot and too long. But this year? It has lasted and lasted and lasted. A few warm days every once in a while and then right back to cool, wet and windy. It was lovely for long enough to have our trees all get a good set of fruit, the garden is growing and the grass is brilliant green. But cool enough to wear sweaters for more than one month, I'm still okay in shoes and socks most of the time, and long pants feel good. But still, every day I wake up wondering if this is it. The beginning of the end. For some reason my pessimistic nature won't allow me to enjoy it fully. but secretly I cheer and hoot at the beauty and wonder of a cool and long spring.

If this is global warming, bring it on.

What's black and white and red all over?

2010-06-22T16:30:00.000-07:00

Right...two new bags that are made from black and white and red suits.

I used the hardware and handles from an old purse.

After using this purse all weekend (I HAVE to see if they are usable or not!)

I've decided it's my favorite one yet.

I love the back pocket: The center stripe is from men's suit pants and

fits my sunglasses and keys perfectly.

The section on the left is the sleeve...

The section on the right is the front outside pocket of a different jacket

and perfectly fits my cell phone. Again---hate searching for it in a hurry.

And see what I mean about the labels?

"Stock Options" So adorable.

The second one here is made with some of the same jacket but the center fabric is a denim twill fabric that is sturdy and so cute---black and white stripe. I added an outside water bottle pocket out of the sleeve of the black and white houndstooth but not sure I like it. Maybe I'll redo it with snaps so that it can be removeable.

The inside is lined with red silk from a thrift store blouse.

I'm trying to figure out how to make a new website for the purses so that that isn't all that gets put on my blog even though it's what is taking most of my time lately. That way you can totally skip it if you want or just click on a link and go directly there.

I don't think I'll stop sewing these purses anytime soon. I have two more cut out and ideas for so many more. A spare closet has my recent purchases hanging there calling me to make them beautiful and wanted again. How can I say no?

Bag Number Two...

2010-06-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

So here is the second attempt at making bags out of men's and women's suits. This one was harder to do for several reasons: I cut the pattern and fabric BEFORE I had really figured it out and it took a zillion tries to get it to work the way I wanted to, next time I'll think about it more and sew less; also, the stuff I used as interfacing was a lot stiffer than before and I'm not sure that's what I wanted either but the outside fabric was so soft and floppy I thought I needed it. Now I realize I probably didn't. It doesn't affect the look or use of the bag but was so irritating when piecing and sewing.

Anyway, here's the front. The bottom is a woman's jacket that had belt loops and cute pockets so I HAD to leave them on and add a belt for fun. The top is a woman's jacket also but so soft and yummy with cute zippers on the front and sleeves (look for those in a later bag I have planned). The handles are cannibalized from an old purse and the inside is a pair of men's suit pants that I couldn't resist. I've made it so that all the pockets are still functional so there are several outside pockets that are working well for the phone, glasses, keys, all the stuff I want to get to easily and hate when they get lost in the inside of a purse. Nothing worse than searching among the junk at the bottom of a purse when your phone is ringing and ringing and ringing...

Here's the back. I think it's my favorite part.

Just a cute flap pocket and simple belt and bottom.
The inside with a magnetic closure, slit pocket from the pants and that's it!

One of the interesting things this week is that 3 people tried to buy the red purse from me. Random people at the doctor's and thrift store (buying jacket's of course) and the grocery store. Joe has given me orders not to sell it but the last offer was good enough to consider if I'd only had somewhere to put all the stuff that was inside of it. Next time maybe I'll negotiate a sale if it includes them providing a bag to put my stuff in to take home!

Where old things become new...

2010-05-27T16:15:00.000-07:00

Here's a riddle for you: What do you get when you cross McCall's pattern M5599, a long Wednesday morning and two fairly hideous thrift store jackets?

If you answered the cutest bag on the planet then you're right!

A couple weeks ago when we were waiting in Border's for our movie to start (dangerous thing waiting for the movie) I was looking through the craft magazines that I love but can't afford and saw the cutest purses and bags made out of men's suits and thought, "Hey I can do that!" I love men's jackets for the same reason the artist does: The fabric is great, the lining can be amazing and the labels are pure art.

So, as soon as possible, I went to the thrift store and found four or five blazers that were ugly as blazers but looked like good possibilities for bags. Then I found a bag pattern I loved and cut it out of stiff pelon. Then I used the pelon cutout to piece the blazer fabric on until I was satisfied with the result and before I knew it, a cute and unique purse appeared.

So, what was once weird cuffs and lapels,

became cute pockets and decorations.

What was once a front pocket became two outside pockets.

What was once the front buttons,

became the inside closure.

What was once a chest pocket and sleeve,

became an inside pocket and water bottle holder.

So all of you unwanted, unloved, ill-fitting,

outdated jackets, come over to my house.

It's where ugly becomes beautiful, outdated becomes sheik,

unloved becomes coveted and where old things become new.

The Coolest Thing I've seen in a While...

2010-05-21T14:10:00.000-07:00

The airshow is in town for the weekend so all week planes have been flying in. But that's not the cool thing.

Last night at Joe's ball game one of the huge F-something-or-others flew over the ball fields making what looked like a super slow turn to the airport. It was loud and huge and pretty exciting. But that's still not the cool thing.

When I glanced down at the field to see what was happening in the game I saw every single boy on the field looking up in the sky with their mouths hanging open. That was COOL! Sometimes I wonder about kids and how fast they seem to have to grow up and about the loss of wonder in their lives but that view made me feel so good and surprisingly optimistic about their future. When they can stop playing ball and simultaneously watch a jet fly overhead with those looks on their faces, life is good again.

Wish, wish, wish I had my camera with me!

2010-02-20T10:48:00.000-08:00

I looked out the window and what did I see?....

Yeah, you guessed it. Popcorn popping on the apricot tree.

And the plum tree. And almost popping on the nectarine and peach trees.

Cool huh?

Snow Trip Part Deaux

2010-02-20T10:03:00.000-08:00

So we attempted the snow trip again last weekend and Yahoo!!! It was a great success. The temperature was in the 60's, the roads were clear and we found a fabulous and fast hill to slide down for several hours. Plus, Dustin and Tara and Lydia were with us! Below are my four favorite faces of the day:

Pookie finally gets to play in the snow. What a strange dog. She caught snowball after snowball in her mouth that we threw for her even after they exploded in her face.

Now that's a much happier face than last time.

What a sweetheart Lydia was. She had a ball squealing up and down the hills: Excited going up knowing what was coming and excited going down. What a nut.

And seriously, who couldn't love this face? I'm a bit fond of it.

Kacey spent most of the day digging this hole.

Don't know why but she was happy and

ended up with a hole that was nearly over her head

Then she sat in it. Hmmmm...

Go to Tori! She went all the way to the top and slide down on her

bottom over and over and over again.

Go mommy and Kacey! Finally got her out of her hole!

An epic snowball fight. What you don't see is the little 8-year-old-girl they are fighting (she had a little back up from her brothers). She was a fearless little thing zooming down the hill and taking on the Barros Brothers alone or with help. She just didn't care!

Even Pookie got to ride down the hill. No willingly and not often.

I did say that it was a fast hill, didn't I?

Go little family! I'm sad this isn't video because you really

could hear her from a long ways away.

Snow Trip

2010-02-20T09:16:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago we attempted a trip to the snow. It was a weekend of wild and wooly weather, but what week hasn't been wild this winter. For those of you who live in the snow this will seem so easy, get up, put your snow clothes on and walk out the door and sled down the hill right next to your house. For those of us living in sunny california it's a bit more complicated. First: find the clothes you haven't used in a year. Figure out what fits and what doesn't. Shop at the thrift stores for what you need to replace the old, too small, or worn out stuff. Next: Pack lunch, boil plenty of water for hot chocolate and cup-o-noodles and pack all into the car. Last: locate the snow discs and board that are supposed to be just inside the garage but really hide in the trailer that is parked 10 miles out of town. After several hours (and only a few bad words) later, we're off to the mountains

We have a lovely drive to the mountains in wet and stormy weather but we are not afraid because we are prepared in all ways for bad weather. Except one. We didn't pack the snow chains. No cars are allowed into the park without carrying chains even though we are assured they will not be needed. So...back down the mountain to get chains: only a half an hour down and then half an hour back. The trip back is different though. The road is completely changed. There are rocks, pine needles, dirt and branches covering the road and tons of traffic going the opposite direction. By the time we got up to the park entrance again, we were informed that the park was closing (how do you close a mountain?) because of strong winds that blew trees over and crunched cars trapping people in the park and out of it. The ranger was even blocked from his home beyond the park.

To make a short story long, that was the end of our snow trip. We drove down the mountain a ways and ate our picnic lunch in the church parking lot. Poor Joe. He had been waiting for a snow trip for two years. Poor Pookie who also loves the snow. Poor mom and dad who had put up with a long and frustrating day with no apparent reward.

Beginning of the day, so optomistic and innocent.

Gotta love the happy face in this picture!

Is there nothing I won't complain about?

2010-01-19T18:27:00.000-08:00

So I've started a new semester that is proving to be easier than any I've experienced in a long long while and....

I'm so bored!!! I wish I had taken more units but last semester still had me twitching when I signed up for this year that I couldn't force myself to even think beyond these few credits. Now all the classes are full and I'm stuck with my easy schedule that gets me only slightly closer to the end. Auggghhhh!!!

So, I complained literally nonstop last semester because I thought I was going to die with study and homework and classwork. I even found myself complaining to strangers I got so crazy. I gave up so many activities with the family and so many weekends and nights to study and it turned out okay. Well, better than good. I got the required A's in all my classes and so I'm still eligible for the Fresno State program but it wasn't without a fairly high cost. I thought I would be so happy with a lighter schedule but now I'm bored and find myself complaining about not enough to do. Maybe I should have my head examined.

2010-01-02T14:31:00.000-08:00

Guess who graduated last month? Don't be fooled by the shy pose---

she'd shout it from the housetops if she could.

Waiting for the fun to start in the Taylor Chapel at BYU-I

So mom and dad are pretty proud too of their newest college graduate.

Silly sisters: Although Tori's losing her best roommate.

The whole crew who watched Kacey walk:

Allan, Karen, Kacey, Tara, Dustin, Lydia and Tori

Lydia was pretty tired by the time things got going and it was fairly hot and stuffy in the room but she really perked up when the applause started. I think she thought it was all for her: her legs started kicking and her smile was a mile wide as she acknowledged all her fans who were clapping for her. So funny!

So here we are, four kids down and three to go. We are just in the middle of the ride and yet so much has been accomplished: College graduation, missions, marriage, babies, grad school and first real jobs. I can hardly wait for the next 20 years!

Thanksgiving 2009

2009-12-04T05:25:00.000-08:00

So, I can't seem to remember to post the pictures on in reverse order (why do I have to remember that? Because I can't figure out how to move them once they are posted). So, technical difficulties aside...on with the show.

James and Monica

(what you can't see is that they are seriously investigating the variety of pie on James' plate!)

John and Annette

Tyson, haven't seen him in ages and he's looking good!,
Monday, Mike and Emily

Silly cousins! Can't tell you how many pictures like this I have of this group because they are always just a little goofy together.

Luke, Chris, Emily and Kit

Joe and AJ find a quiet corner to play

Silly sisters watching Cinderella. Princesses all.

"I went to Grandma's for thanksgiving and all I got was this small plate of food"

Interesting that a lot of the little kids hardly ate but not to worry, we adults made up for it in a big way.

What the heck is in Kacey's mind in this picture? Visions of sugar plums? Maybe just the food that's in front of her.

One very tired Grandma who insisted that she wanted to do the whole dinner. It was really a great dinner--just like when we were little. Without the pickles. Where were the pickles?

(Just thought of them right now--weird!)

More food prep although I think James just got busted snacking.

On to the Barros' (thankfully not until two days later)

Bryon and Alicia pose bequtifully for the camera.

Not sure who's more tired here: MacKenzie who just saw her Dad for the first time in nearly a month but still didn't want to leave the party or GG who got to have 'Kenzie and Megan live with her for a month.

No words: Just cuteness all over.

Joe gets taken down by the little girls. They were rough!

I think the umpire is right. That WAS a personal foul!

David

Dad, grandpa and great-grandpa just living in the moment. Seems to be enjoying the commotion all around him.

Megan and MacKenzie

But earlier in the day was the First Ward's Annual Turkey Bowl

Young Men Verses the Men but with a twist this year. There was a Women verses the Young Women game also.

Would you trust these three as umpires?

Kit at the end of the game.

Not sure if he's leading the warm-up or the ward choir.?

Kit at the beginning of the game.

Serious discussion with the ump. Always the judge, both in church and on the playing field.

Always disappointing when the young men's ringer gets injured!

Serious action. Too bad it didn't translate to the score which I won't repeat but let's just say the men won but were moving very very slowly on Sunday. Who really was the winner then?

2009-11-13T15:55:00.000-08:00

Trunk or treating at the church. Yummy chili cookoff, trunk-or-treating, costume contests and treats.

Here's who went:

The Mad Scientist! He wouldn't take off the glasses to drive. He was a little scarey with test tubes, scarey hair, thick glasses and a brain in his pocket. Just in case I guess.

I went as Karen-the-Grouch--no costume needed, just the attitude, which I had in spades that night. It was a long and frustrating day searching for costume parts, classes at school that went worse than they should have, and not one but two batches of cornbread that went really, really wrong somehow.

Joseph was a very serious and believable Secret Service Agent. Many criminals were handcuffed that night but no arrests were made.

He had the badge, earpiece (let's hear it for all those broken earphones and computer parts), and handcuffs but once the shades went on it was all business. This is probably his favorite costume he's ever had and for me, the easiest. He really did look sharp.

Kit and her friend Paige. Not sure what they were except teenagers who wanted to trunk or treat with the rest of the kids so they threw on costumes.

Kit and Joe decorated the front of the house for Halloween, no pictures though. They did a really great job with tombstones all over and body parts and rats and a very scarey demon front door cover that scared me every time I walked by it in the night.

What I Did For My Summer Vacation...

2009-08-07T16:13:00.000-07:00

Visited brothers and killed each other Halo style.

Got reaquainted with grandbabies and had a couple good chats.

Were amazed at the difference a month makes in a

baby's life.

Stopped at the MTC parking lot for a familiy picture.

Said goodbye to new friends.

Hanging out and being tough before saying godbye .

Checking out the orders and rules for the new digs.

So maybe we weren't so tough but it was nice to see that these two

"non-huggers" really can hug!

We walked where prophets of the restoration walked.

And sat in the sacred rooms where they taught.

Joseph in the School of the Prophets.

And saw sacred temples that didn't feel so sacred any more.
Kirtland Temple

Sat in the room where the Savior appeared and

the fullness of the gospel was revealed to mortal man.

Visited the Johnson farm---a beautiful and large home even by today's standards

Had noodle wars with beloved siblings.

Hung out with in-laws and out-laws.

Met a new grandbaby and fell in love with him.

He wasn't so sure about us though!

Visited a very cool (or HOT) glass factory.

There was glass everywhere but we were warned not to touch anything as it could still be several hundred degrees in temperature. Pretty effective theft control.

Uncle Joe at his best: feeding and burping Payton. Did we ever doubt Joe has a talent in this area?

We got to see Payton get blessed in his Mr. Fancy-Pants outfit. He wasn't as interested in the procedings as we were.

Here's a happy family.

Posing with the whole crew.

We crosed rivers....

and more rivers...

And drove through state....

after state....

for miles and miles...

Through storm...

after storm...

And finally we arrived home. Just in time for uncles, aunts and cousins to come play.

Took a ride on the cousin massage train.

Swam in the Kings river and yes, the water really does come from bottom of the lake---FREEZING!!!

Decided a camping trip to the beach was preferable to a hiking trip in the mountains.

Well, the kids decided. They were probably right.

Got treated to a yummy (and ginormous!) lunch at Fat Cat's--One of grandma and Grandpa's favorite seaside restauants.

We enjoyed a beautiful day or two at the beach.

Two of our very favorite beach bunnies!

Watched James and Steve catch wave after wave...

And watched a few waves catch James and Steve!

Leaving the very cold ocean for the warm (hot!) sand.

What a great summer filled with lots of traveling to states far and wide and lots of people and family to see. And just when the traveling was too much, family came to visit us! That was a real treat and so much fun. It was really the perfect summer and now we all start back to school on monday and for the first time in a long time, everyone is looking forward to classes and new friends and old friends. Thank you all who put up with our visits and all who visited us.

We love you all and feel so blessed to have you in our lives.

2009-06-25T18:45:00.000-07:00

I would love to say that I've been too busy to write any new posts in the last couple months but that's not completely true. I have been busy and actually did try to update Payton's pictures but our computer got a virus that tore down our internet explorer and besides, some of my experiences defy language so I've put off writing but must today.

So, I got to visit baby Lydia when she was 2 weeks old. This is the part that defies words. I didn't fall in love with her immediately but I didn't fall in love with my own kids immediately either so no worries there. I don't know why it takes a while to get to know them for me but it does and I was surprised because I had been so looking forward to seeing her and holding her. She was underweight due to nursing problems and had just started on a bottle. Poor little thing looked like a little wrinkled old woman with bags under her eyes. I felt so sorry for her little hungry self. Poor Tara was dealing with a hungry baby and not enough milk and severe pain and no sleep. Dustin was dealing vicariously with all that too. I felt like I dropped into a very private and personal time of their lives but knew it was important for me to be there for me and for them because Tara needed to finish her student teaching and Dustin was still going to class also. I remember so well those first few weeks with the first baby. Life is so different than just a few days before and you feel like every single thing is new and strange. It was weird experiencing that all over again. The week ended up being so great filled with little more than holding baby, taking the night shift every once in a while and watching this new little family learn and grow. I'm not sure how much I helped out but I know that by the end of the 10 days or so that I was there, I was so sad to say goodbye to that sweet, sweet baby. Heartbreaking really how attatched I got and then had to leave.

Next we all went back to Utah for the college graduations and Lydia's blessing. What a proud moment to watch Dustin, Tara and Michayla walking into the room in their caps and gowns. They all have worked (and are working) so hard to get to this point. It was a great graduation ceremony, Allan's parents came from California and seemed to enjoy it also. It was nice to sit back and enjoy some of the fruits of our and their labor.

On sunday they blessed Lydia. She looked so beautiful in her dress. I had cut up my wedding dress to make what I hope becomes a family blessing gown. I loved working on it and put more effort to make it as perfect as possible using as much of the original dress as I could. I was kinda proud of myself thinking it was amazing until I saw her in it and then I realized that all my striving for perfection couldn't be reached until someone was wearing it. She was adorable and I have to say that my heart just burst when Dustin walked down from the stand and handed her to me. I can't even begin to express in words the love of a grandmother.

We drove home on Monday and Michayla and I left for West Virginia on Tues. I was so sick by then and tired I barely remember the drive home or packing for the next trip. Thank you cough syrup with codeine. The drive home from Utah never seemed so fast.

The first part of the week in WV was a blur. When I was in Utah, I was so worried about spreading illness to Lydia, that I had Allan take me to an urgent care place and get checked out by the doctor who said it was just a bug. But when I still felt bad a week later, I went to another urgent care and got antibiotics and prescription decongestant and painkillers. Within 12 hours I was feeling pretty good so that the rest of the trip was great.

One fun thing we did was drive down to SVU in virginia and watch Brandon graduate. I know he wanted to be there but was feeling a little funny at the same time but it was so nice to be there and watch him walk with his friends and see him interact with some of his favorite professors and the president of the school. I'm so proud of him! It was a long hard haul but one that was so worth it i think.

We didn't really do much and that was just fine. Sarah had just quit nursing Payton due to allergies and let us take over some nights so they could get some much needed rest. It was nice to hang out with him. We learned that he justly earned his nick-name: Mister Pee-pee, poo-poo, spit-up. He is such a vocal and funny kid. Talking, talking, and more talking! Same experience with him though: a slow crawl into my heart so that by the time we left it was painful. Michayla was so proud of herself for not crying when we left-me too-but when we were about halfway home there was a baby on the plane who started coughing and crying sounding just like Payton (and if you heard his voice you'd know how unique it is) and had us both tearing up! Yes, we are such big girls and so brave. More Michayla than I because she wouldn't be seeing him again for 18 months at least, until after her mission.

I hope that somehow my visits helped out these two new families and wasn't a burden. I was such a joy to visit with the new babies and get to know them from something other than pictures and phone calls. So, thank you to my two amazing sons who somehow (what I mean is that without mom and dad's help) found two amazing girls who are perfect for their husbands first of all, and second are wonderful mothers, and lastly are generous with their babies and loving and patient with their not so quiet or gentle in-laws. We love you all and feel loved in return. We are blessed.

2009-04-07T11:13:00.001-07:00

2009-04-07T10:23:00.001-07:00

2009-03-19T21:32:00.000-07:00

Last month I went to the city/county tournament for elementary school wrestling. Wow! Some of those kids are in the 55 lb weight class and looked like little stick figures wrestling and some of them in the 175+ looked like sumo wrestlers. It was so much fun. Joe wrestled twice-was pinned the first time in the second round and pinned his guy in the second match. He's funny because he cried when he was pinned and then nearly cried when he pinned the second guy. He kept saying, "I feel so bad, he's was so nice." The lesson--don't make friends with your opponent before the match! They talked for about 20 minutes while they waited to wrestle. But that's Joe isn't it: He wins hard and loses hard.

So, click eye of the tiger and then enjoy the show!

2009-03-19T20:21:00.000-07:00

2009-03-19T00:06:00.000-07:00

Well, as of last Thursday some of my waiting is over. Michayla received her mission call to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, spanish-speaking! She leaves on June 10th to the MTC. Yahoo!
Dustin and Tara had their baby on March 12 and all was well after a full day of induction and work, here is a lovely little girl. They named her Lydia Louise, after me, Karen Louise. I'm flattered and touched and never liked the name until now. Now it is beautiful. Funny that. Michayla thinks her news is the step-child news but it feels more like we have twins. Seriously what could be better: Dustin and Tara giving one of Heavenly Father's children the chance at mortal life and Michayla giving some of His children the chance at eternal life. Both ends of the spectrum and both equally important.

Tori has decided to attend BYU-I and is getting excited to be on the Fall/Spring schedule. She's sure she will only get a little of the cold and a ton of the beauty of Idaho. Let's not tell her yet of the time it snowed on the fourth of July parade and how many snowmen can be made before Christmas vacation. Lucky she thinks cold is good too.

The rest of the waiting is still happening but not it doesn't seem so hard. Yeah!

2009-03-01T21:32:00.000-08:00

Today I realized my life lately has been all about waiting and learning patience. A hard lesson because it's definitely NOT my strong suit.

We are waiting anxiously for Chicken Broth to be born to be followed closely by Beef Stew. These two babies are seriously loved and wanted and I can't figured out what would take them sooooo long to join the fun. Okay, so they're not due for several weeks, someone should tell them grandma has candy for them if they can come just a little early!

We are also waiting to hear about Brandon's law school applications and what their decision will be. We are waiting to know if Dustin will have an intership this summer or if he will go to school instead and then graduate and get a job. These kinds of waiting are hard just because we know it's exciting and scary for them. My knees are getting calloused. It's good I guess.

We are waiting to hear about Michayla's mission call. I know it's only been four days since she turned her papers in but once the deed was done, things got seriously exciting and fun. No more decisions to make, only waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

We are waiting to know where Tori will decide to go to college next year. She has maybe too many choices but has been seriously trying to pray before deciding finally on any one college. So exciting to see her grow up and away. And a little sad too.

The thing I have the hardest time with with all this waiting is that none of these decisions are in my control. I am basically an observer into the lives of these young adults and although I am emotionally invested in the outcome, I don't have a say in what, where or when things will happen. I like this and don't like this all at the same time. The responsibility is gone but the worry and concern is still there.

2009-02-02T20:52:00.000-08:00

My first non-school-required post to my blog! Today was Joseph's first double digit birthday. I had the hardest time deciding what to get him because what he wanted was exactly what I didn't want him to have, like a new gaming system (WII or XBox or DS). So Allan and I decided to get him a pet because that is the second most requested gift item. When I went to the pet store to look at lizards and snakes I just couldn't make myself even get serious about it. They are repulsive to me right on par with shrunken heads if you know what I mean. So off to the video store to look at gaming systems but again couldn't commit to anything. Tori finally bailed me out by going to a different pet store and picking out a snake for him. It's a very small albino king snake. She held it and looked at it while I hugged the back corner wall which was as far away as I could get. Predicably, the girls really love it and Joe loves it too (yeah) and I have made sure that the lid is weighted down with a myriad of heavy items in Joe's room. I've already informed everyone that if it ever gets loose that I will be checking into a hotel for the duration. Joe wants to know what I'll do if they can't ever find it. I told them I won't ever be back in that case. Anyway, happy birthday Joseph!