Friday, July 22, 2011

I have this problem. Well, I don't think I'll call it a real problem, just an issue, really. I like crafts. I really, really do. I love looking at them. I like looking at books about them. I like watching people do them. I like dreaming and creating an idea about them. I love the challenge of figuring something out, a new way to do something, a new use for something old, and I'm pretty good at it. But when it comes down to it, I don't think I love doing it for any great period of time. Well the same one anyway.

I have a room that is filled to the gills (well, the edges of the room anyway) with a certain craft project that after doing it for several years, I'm kinda over it. I'm over the room that it takes up in my house for storage and to actually do the project. I'm over the huge amount of time I invest in planning and preparing and actually doing the thing. I'm over wondering what I'm going to do with the end result. This last one is so stressful for some reason: I always factor whether or not someone else would want what I'm making, either to receive as a gift or to buy, and so far only a few have been given away and none sold because I am paralized as how to do this.

The real problem is this: once I find a great idea I can't just get stuff for one or two of them. Noooo. I have to get supplies for 10 or 15 or 20. Everywhere I go I look for great deals on supplies and find them and buy them! Now I have a closet and 4 huge boxes filled with parts. I'll make 5 or 6 items, then the parts and supplies become an overwhelming burden that my brain seizes up and I can't go forward with any sense of fun or joy that the original creation provided. All of the sudden I have a job. A non-paying job so not only am I invested financially, I feel the burden to make up some of the money in sales. But again, the stress of selling.....

So now what? Do I force myself to do something that I am now hating for all the reasons stated above? Do I get rid of the supplies (I haven't invested a great amount of money so this option would not be awful, it just seems such a waste)? Do I hang on to the stuff in case I recover my desire to start up again, maybe, someday? Or would that be like all those hoarders I watch who can't let go of anything because a some point they might need it? We call my craft room the hoarding room because it frequently looks like something from that show. Can you be a hoarding when it's only one room? And a closet or two? After spending two hours yesterday cleaning it, I almost couldn't stop myself from continuing on and getting rid of everything in there. Sweet freedom from stuff! But here's the other question: Would that open the door on other craft projects? Right now I don't shop for any new ones because of what I have here, but if everything was gone, would I want to rush out and fill the void?

So many questions. So few answers.