Thursday, June 9, 2011

The REAL reason for the tears

So if I said I knew it would you believe me? I know many people "know" things after the fact but this time it's true. Here's the story:

When I first saw the lump on Sarah's neck when I visited after Derek was born I was in total agreement with her mom: get that checked.

After after all the testing and the biopsy that revealed the suspicious nature of her thyroid and the possible outcomes I decided to do my own online research. I read through as much literature as I could and was cheered by the positive outcomes for so many people but as soon as I read the part about it spreading to the lymph nodes I felt that this was the path we (is it presumptuous to say we when I'm 1500 miles away? I hope not) were going to be on. It's not something I could say out loud because everyone, and I mean literally everyone from the people at the wedding reception to the nurse/practitioner at my annual gyn appointment said the same thing: It's the best cancer and the easiest to cure. Just take it out and maybe one treatment of radiation. So who wants to be downer-debbie and say, I think it might not be that easy.

But the surgery seemed to prove me wrong and really maybe my pessimistic nature was just taking over, I needed to chill. So when Sarah called today and said it was in the lymph nodes I just cried (I'm very sorry Sarah to not always be so tough). I cried because I realized those feelings were promptings or maybe warnings,and although it would have done no good sharing them before, I was sad. And also humbled to again recognize our Heavenly Father's hand in our lives. He knows us, and loves us, and it is His hand guiding our lives. And for that I have no end of gratitude.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Is there anyone out there?

So, I tell myself that I blog to keep a record of my life--sorta. A small and very incomplete record, but a record nonetheless. But I've found that I miss the comments that used to come my way. I guess I have more social needs than I thought. Maybe it's the lack of pictures or music or the soporific effect of my posts that keep people away. You all don't have smell-o-vision do you? Well, whatever it is I hope it passes and life as I knew it returns to normal.

And for those of you who need pictures this is for you:

(Who's needy now?) Sorry it won't let me upload any pictures today. I've been trying for 20 minutes and it's time to get on with the rest of my life.

Next time?